"
Dancing with a Mirror: Why Working with or Loving a Narcissist Can Be a Road to Ruin
There’s a silent war that plays out behind closed doors — a kind of emotional erosion that doesn’t leave visible scars, but deeply wounds the soul. It’s the experience of working with, or worse, loving a narcissist. The charm, the control, the confusion — it feels like dancing with a mirror: everything reflects back at you, but nothing is real.
A few years ago, I found myself caught in this very web. On the surface, it seemed manageable — even promising. Narcissists have a way of appearing larger than life. They are confident, articulate, often admired by outsiders. But behind the charisma lies a hollow core masked by manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse.
I remember the days I tried to reason, to set boundaries, to fix what was clearly broken. But you can’t fix someone who doesn’t acknowledge damage. I watched myself grow weary. My sense of worth began to fade under the weight of constant criticism, mood swings, and silent punishments. I almost got drained. Almost — until I said, "enough."
I managed to build a shield around myself, a mental armor forged from truth and clarity. But not everyone was so lucky. I watched friends get sucked in — loyal, well-meaning people who thought they could help, only to lose themselves trying.
The Two-Faced Trap
One of the most devastating things about narcissists is their ability to live a double life. To the public, they are saints — supportive, charming, selfless. But at home or within private circles, they are tyrants. The real monsters. The psychological toll is intensified because when you try to speak your truth, you’re met with disbelief. “He would never do that.” “She’s always so kind.” But the truth is, narcissists are expert performers — they win crowds while crushing the closest people to them.
The most dangerous part? You’ll never realize you’re in too deep until it’s almost too late. Only the wise and emotionally intelligent can sense when it’s time to pull out. And even then, it’s not easy.
Leave. Regardless of what's at stake.
Let me say this clearly: learn to leave. Regardless of what’s at stake — a job, a relationship, shared investments, mutual friendships — leave. You are valuable alone. You don’t need anyone to validate that. Any connection that drains your spirit is not worth keeping.
And when you finally summon the courage to walk away, prepare yourself. A narcissist doesn’t let go without war. Expect character assassination. Expect lies. Expect stories so twisted that even you may wonder, “Was I really that bad?”
They’ll go around painting a picture of how good they were to you — how they supported you, built you up, sacrificed for you. All white lies, told so often and so convincingly that others begin to believe. And worse — you lose people who never once stopped to ask your side.
Protect Your Peace at all costs.
Leaving a narcissist isn’t just a break — it’s a recovery mission. You must unlearn the lies you were fed about yourself, rebuild your confidence, and reclaim your voice. It won’t happen overnight. But peace will come, and when it does, it will be the kind that doesn’t need to be explained or defended.
Because at the end of it all, surviving a narcissist isn’t just about escape — it’s about transformation. You don’t just leave them behind; you find yourself again.
There are two sets of people reading this, the ones who have been trapped and the narcissists. Find yourself
Samson Anuoluwapo Balogun
Samson Anuoluwapo Balogun
Samson Balogun - Mc Captain