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"Feel at Home" Is a Setup, Not a Welcome
We often throw around phrases like “make yourself comfortable” and “feel at home” as gestures of warmth and hospitality. But in some cases, these expressions are less about genuine welcome and more about setting unspoken expectations — or worse, laying traps that can backfire. Beneath the surface of such niceties can lie power plays, misplaced trust, and misjudged intentions.
Let me share a recent experience that perfectly captures this.
Gist Time - A Friendly Setup
My landlord’s son had just completed his NYSC and was back home, trying to reintegrate into the neighborhood. He tried to “famz” me — you know, that familiar act of forced friendship — but the age difference and his constant requests for money without any real connection made me keep him at arm's length. He never checked in on me unless he needed something. I gave him space, respectfully.
Then came a new tenant, who moved into the vacant two-bedroom flat next to mine. Before long, my landlord’s son started hovering around him too — running errands, cracking jokes, practically becoming his sidekick. Their bond grew quickly, so much so that the new tenant once told him not to bother knocking before entering his apartment.
Soon, a public announcement was made — the new tenant told everyone that the landlord’s son was free to sleep in his apartment even when he wasn’t around. That, of course, meant he had a spare key. Trust was sealed.
Or so we thought.
The Real Story
Trust, Accusations, and the Misunderstood
Last night, around 10 p.m., I got home to hear a loud commotion coming from the neighbor’s flat. To my surprise, the new tenant was accusing the landlord’s son of stealing his phone charger. He was furious. And truth be told, the boy was the only one with access to the apartment.
He kept trying to defend himself, but the damage had already been done. In Burna Boy’s voice, one could say, “You go explain tire.”
No resolution came that night. The house fell silent, the tension buried beneath closed doors.
This morning, I overheard my neighbor on the phone with his fiancée. She admitted that she had taken the charger with her, thinking she’d return later that night. Unfortunately, her plans changed, and she didn’t inform anyone. She apologized.
But despite this new information, the neighbor didn’t go to the landlord’s quarters to clear the air. No apology. No public correction. Nothing.
Anyone who heard the shouting match last night might still believe the boy is a thief. That label — once unfairly attached — might stick around, because people rarely pay as much attention to the truth as they do to drama.
The Real Meaning of "Feel at Home"
In this situation, “feel at home” became a setup. It gave someone access, yes — but also opened the door to expectations, obligations, and eventually, accusations. The line between hospitality and vulnerability blurred, and the landlord’s son paid the price.
When we tell someone to "feel at home," we should first consider what we're really offering. Are we ready for the weight of trust that comes with that statement? And are we willing to stand by that trust if things go wrong?
Moral Lessons
1. Access Without Boundaries Breeds Trouble: Giving someone the key to your space should come with clear terms. Trust is powerful, but it must be protected.
2. Accusations Travel Faster Than Truth: People often remember the scandal, not the correction. Be careful before you call someone out publicly.
3. Don't Mistake Familiarity for Friendship: Just because someone is always around doesn’t mean they’re loyal or responsible. Proximity isn’t proof of trustworthiness.
4. Hospitality Isn't a Blank Cheque: Welcoming someone into your space doesn’t mean ignoring red flags or abandoning caution.
5. Correct Your Wrongs Loudly: If you make a public accusation, make the truth just as public when it's discovered. Silence in correction is injustice in disguise.
“Feel at home” should mean safety, peace, and comfort — not setups, suspicions, and stories like this. Let’s rethink how we offer trust… and how we protect those who receive it.
Samson Anuoluwapo Balogun
Samson Anuoluwapo Balogun
Samson Balogun - Mc Captain